Experimental. Everything was improvised first take. Only allowed myself one take.
All tracks recorded in Whanganui, August 2014, whilst fearing for my life. (See below for explanation.)
released August 24, 2014
This album was recorded in a state of lock down isolation in my bedroom in a flat in Wanganui. I was being heavily stalked and literally did not know if I would live for much longer. I feared for my life due to numerous visitations from my ex partner who has all the major symptoms of psychosis. My room was permanently locked, while I was in it. My curtains were permanently drawn due to the real possibility of being shot. I suspect she had access to a gun via relatives. It was that bad. I very much dislike calling the police but felt I had no choice whatsoever as she was turning up at my flat every day, numerous times a day, on one occasion blaring out The Cure album Disintegration claiming "Jamie I love you!" etc etc. She also tried her darnedest to defame and slander me as much as possible claiming I am a nonce, she manipulated an ex jailbird mega-muscular Muay Thai kick boxer gangbanger who lived across the road by seducing him with her vagina and painting the worst picture of me possible. Lovely, huh? All of my flatmates were disturbed by her presence in any way whatsoever. Even mentioning her made us shudder. She tried to kill herself outside my bedroom window by severely slashing her wrist. It was a genuine attempt, (I know because I had friends keeping an eye on her on facebook for my safety, and sending me screenshots of her insanely defamatory remarks about me and was sent a pic of her photo of her wrist.) An ambulance was called, I knew that from what a local person who witnessed this insane act told me at the gate after I went outside to make sure there was peace in the 'hood and that she was going to be alright. I may've been scared of my stalker but I still did not want her to die horribly via a suicide attempt or any other form, and wanted to make sure she was going to be okay, get the urgent help she needed/needs. I ended up calling the police, again, because I thought they would get there quicker and be able to get her to emergency medical professionals in time to save her. She was discharged from the Wanganui hospital later that night. Great mental health services huh? The Wanganui hospital mental health staff and/or whoever is responsible for her abrupt discharge that night surely must've had enough prior information about her seriously ill and dangerous mental health from a prior suicide attempt, (again, a slashed wrist, serious attempt,) yet still decided to discharge her. I know, re the earlier suicide attempt, because I witnessed it and actually drove her to the hospital on that occasion. Anyway, after 2 serious suicide attempts, death threats on me, sickening defamation of me on facebook trying to manipulate people into thinking I am a child abuser, slander, and god knows what else she employed from her deeply troubled mind, I ended up with an overload of evidence to get a protection order. It was granted WITHOUT NOTICE, which means urgently, and immediately. The judge also ordered her to do an anti violence course for a few months, weekly. Kind of like probation with counselling I suppose. I ended up leaving Wanganui fearing for my safety. I could go into how scary the procedure of leaving my house was but that would take up quite a few more paragraphs and anyone who has read this/made it this far in my description of what happened to me in 2014 is appreciated and, well, yeah, I could go on. It's traumatic. The reason for mentioning all of this is because as I initially said, this was the environment in which this album was recorded. I figured, if I'm going to die then I might as well go out making music. So this album is the result. I was literally in tears while I recorded the final track. Thank you for your time in reading this.